This guy... my prince charming... I don't know who he'll be or what he'll do. I don't know where he'll live or when we'll meet. For all I know I've already met him. But this I do know. I know that he will challenge me to be a better person and keep me accountable. I know that he will tell me when I'm being difficult and be patient with me. I know that he will love me for me and nothing less. I know that this someone is going to be one who i trust completely, who trusts me completely and who will share my love for ministries. I hold onto this dream because I wouldn't have it any other way. I won't deserve this person, and maybe this is too much to ask, but I will still hope... still dream.
I have days where I consider giving in but I am thankfully reminded time and time again that giving in is not an option. I have been given countless opportunities to engage in relationships that may have grown into something serious, but each and every time I found myself unable to ignore the obvious issues. I am glad I was raised smart enough to give my head a shake and end it to avoid unnecessary pain. I want to stop myself right there and make it clear that I am thankful for everyone one of you. I have learnt a lot from those small opportunities. I wouldn't take any part of it back because without them, I wouldn't be the person I am today... I wouldn't of learnt the same lessons which have brought me to this wonderful dream.
I understand our craving to be loved but can't comprehend our obsession with investing emotions in relationships that won't last. I find it curious that we choose not to face certain issues because maybe... just maybe if we don't acknowledge them, they'll go away. But they don't just go away. It just doesn't make sense to me. Over the years I have tried to learn from my mistakes and the mistakes my friends have made. Friends who, to this day still deal with damage caused by others; the biggest downfall of letting someone get close. But I don't think the past should hinder us in any way. I believe that learning from it is very important but allowing it to define you is silly. I will be the first to admit I have made mistakes I wish had never happened, but I know they don't define me and will only make me stronger. Chances should be taken, walls will be broken down, pain is temporary and lessons will be learnt!
Love... how to define it. It is a feeling, an emotion... it is almost impossible to fully define because it can make you do the craziest things. Say the word love and I think of family, of growing old together, of a life of travel, ministries, adventures, and excitement. I know love will be filled with patience, kindness, selflessness, passion, zeal, safety, trust, hope and perseverance. This love... this guy... I won't deserve and I pray I never take for granted. It sounds fantastic right... almost unrealistic and maybe too much to ask, but I will continue to hope... continue to pray... and continue to dream!!
My thoughts are a meaningful confusion
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