I shouldn't

I shouldn't be blogging right now, I should be writing my paper due in a few hours.
I shouldn't be awake right now, I should be sleeping myself back to health.
I shouldn't have made plans tonight, but I can't turn down a night out with friends.
I shouldn't feel compelled to go shopping right now because I have no money, but I do, and I will later today.

Proverbs 4:23

Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.

-Thanks Ellen! Love you girl!

God brings things to my attention in the weirdest ways, and I love it!

This past month I've not been myself. My zest for life was totally missing and my amount of complaints were soaring high. I wanted to blame it on the amount of things that I have been dealing with in other people's lives, but today I realized that I've always been dealing with this much or more, and I've never let it get to me in this way before.

I'm blessed with great friends, family and a wonderful boy in my life who make me very happy. Today I thank God for them knowing that they've been putting up with this for a bit now. I hope they know how much I appreciate them... and I need them.

Today I took the time to give God fully, everything I'm dealing with. I can't explain, or put to words how good that feels. Even just reflecting on these past few months, I have so much to be thankful for.
I got a new amazing job.
I have a wonderful new small group community that support me in prayer and fellowship.
I have grown stronger with a lot of my friends, even the ones who live away.
God has made the missions call in my life... so reinforced!
I have seen this boy grow in marvelous ways, and make huge steps of progress, even if he can't see it.
I am loving my other job, and I got a raise!
My classes are going well, and I've re-learnt the importance of doing my homework!!
... and the list goes on and on.

Praise God. He will provide!

I don't even like this game.

I sit here and complain about the silence I receive. I let myself doubt and I feel the my doubt being stretched farther then necessary. I shouldn't expect something if I don't ask for it.

I'd rather just drive to you. Right now. A lack of certain things binds me here.

I refuse to let fear and doubt hold me here. I'm done wondering and waiting. You've made it clear to me that You are where I need to find refuge, and that... this is good.

Oh baby I'm impatient.

The best gift!

Although September 27 (my birthday) was a very weird day, the morning was the best church service I could ever ask for.


The service just seemed absolutely breath taking. Morgan, along with 4 other people from the church were baptisted. It was absolutely refreshing to see them all confess their undeniable love for God publicly. As they stepped out of the baptism pool, they were all absolutely drenched wearing the biggest expressions of happiness and refreshment.

It was beauty in a tangible form.
Oh how He loves us.